Today was a day in which I wished I could have crawled into my daughter Anna's body so that I could know what she was thinking.
Anna had a tough day today. Sarah & I had a tough day with Anna today.
Not the whole day. Not all day. There were moments of pure frustration, though.
I just came down from Anna's bedroom where she is sleeping soundly. She is exhausted, this I know. Sarah & I are exhausted. Last night's wake-up calls from Anna and Allie were killers.
You see...Anna met another doctor today. Anna is 5. True, there are plenty of children who have many, many more challenges than her.
I think Anna is not happy with being "different" right now. And having to miss dance class with her sisters to sit in waiting rooms and listen to yet another doctor ask questions, check her tummy, and look at her spine added up to one very unhappy girl today.
Sarah and I decided that she would take Emily and Allie to dance class and I would take Anna to the doctor. In the past, we had sometimes ALL taken the trek into Boston for Anna's appointments. It made more sense for just Anna & I to go today, however.
It was a very quiet ride. I do not have a problem with. At all. In hindsight, however, I wonder what Anna was thinking as we drove in.
So... the short story of the doctor visit is that we scheduled a consult with this GI doctor after so-so results from a different GI doctor previously. Today's initial consult was productive.
Anna didn't say a word to the nurse, the doctor or the medical student who sat in on the consult. Strictly head nods of "yes" and "no" from Anna.
At one point the doctor asked me how many times a day Anna goes #2. I didn't know how to respond. She just goes. She has no control. He recommended we put her on the potty twice a day after meals to see if she can go.
The other big thing discussed was periodic enemas and a MACE procedure sometime in the future. The MACE procedure is the direction we are heading. Theoretically, the procedure would get Anna closer to a "normal" day with fewer (if not zero) accidents.
How much of this conversation I had with the doctor today did Anna take in? How much did she understand?
Sarah and I think Anna knows exactly what is going on. We just want her to talk to us rather than flip out over the fact that Daddy poured her milk rather than Mommy, for example.
Anna, we love you and just want you to be happy. Please work with us.