Sunday, February 10, 2013

Stillbirth. Help Break the Silence.

I was out running errands that Saturday morning when Sarah called me and asked me to come home.  She was a week beyond her due date and we were both anxious to welcome our first child into our lives.

Looking back, the drive to the hospital that June day in 2006 seemed to be a long one.  I honestly don't remember the conversation between Sarah & me. I do remember Sarah being tense.  But at the time, I figured it was just a "normal" nervousness.  I know now that it more was than that.

Within an hour of our arrival to the hospital, we were told our baby had died.

"The baby's heart stopped beating."

"I am so sorry."



There must be a mistake.

Shock, disbelief, anger, grief, sorrow, more anger, followed by intense sorrow and depression-like feelings have been with Sarah and me since then.

Sometimes the feelings are overwhelming. Sometimes faint. But the feelings are always there.

We learned about stillbirth.  We found out it happens more than one would think.  BUT no one talks about it. NO ONE. It makes people uncomfortable.  People say some absurd things.  It hurts.

First Candle shared a video (link below) which I hope you will watch and share with your family friends.  I think it may help those who have not delivered a child sleeping (and those that have for that matter). 

Since Abigail, neither Sarah nor I have known anyone in our close circle of family and friends who have experienced stillbirth.  However, coincidentally enough, I received an email from my brother a day or two after I started to draft this post.  A friend of his, whom I had met on a couple of occasions, had lost his son to stillbirth.  His wife was in the hospital preparing for labor and their son died.

Please take a few minutes to click on the link below and watch the video.  And please also remember Abigail Ruth (June 4,2006), Robert and all the other children born sleeping.

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